4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
