So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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