I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
