i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
