I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
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