Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
