I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
