Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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