I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
