talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
