sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
