This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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