Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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