Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
