Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
