And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
