yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
