he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
