Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
