If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
