office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Just high enough for therapy.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
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