she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
