Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
