we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
where are my eyebrows?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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