It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
