just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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