Screwed.edu
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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