Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
