Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
