They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
