just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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