the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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