So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
