i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
