I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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