If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
