Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Randomize
