I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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