Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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