So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
