to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
