as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
