ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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