ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
