well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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