Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
