So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Girls should come with a carfax report
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
