They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
My friends, they love my intelligence
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
