Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
