I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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