doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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