I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
